The Fordson Tractor Pages Forum

Hey Gentleman and Ladies.........

This is completely non tractor related but I can not resist using this forum to ask for advice on making a Best Man Speech. With so many esteemed and experienced folk on here from all walks of life I'd love to hear good jokes, anecdotes etc. or indeed any advice you could offer a young man making his first speech.

Also I'd appreciate any advice on what not to say............. I intend to keep it clean as the bride is my sister (no in law jokes).

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Thanks,
Wee59D

if your not a natural comedian, DONT MAKE JOKES. if one doesnt go down well, it will ruin the whole speech.

Keep it simple, give a few quotes from life, sole mates, blah blah blah.

Cheers Scooby Jim, I'm certainly no John Bishop. I would love a real good opener though..........

As I'm celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary today, I should be able to give some words of wisdom, but all I can come up with is 'Don't do it', and by the time you get to your speech, they would have already done it.
Totally agree that if your not a comedian, don't make jokes.
Make sure your speech has got some reference to Fordson Tractor Pages.
When your speaking, just relax( pretend your just talking to your mates, without the swearing)
Enjoy the day, cause your sisiter may never get married again.
Kiwi Kev

And be sure to tell the Husband to be he will need a His and Hers set of Fordson Tractors if he expects the marriage to last.... I tried it once. That "I Do" thing did not work for me. Dandy Dave!

Best simple joke that I have heard-

"I have been told that you should only speak in public for as long as you make love in private"

Say that, stand for about half a minute and then sit down.After the laughs carry on with your speech

Assuming the groom is not v thin-skinned, I expect he has a sense of humour, so no harm in digging up some good clean 'dirt' on him from his family/school/uni/flat mates. If you want to be 'racy', best to move on hurriedly to the next point before audience has understood the joke - they will later! As someone once said "Brevity is the key to wit". Your speech should be about the Groom, don't get side-tracked on your intimate experiences of tractor maintenance etc unless of course he does tractors too, he is the focus. Good rule is to only make fun of people you like - then everyone knows it's only fun.

Of course you can say nice things too! A good opportunity for you as one of his best mates to tell the wedding guests things about the Groom that they may not be aware of ...pet likes, hates, faux pas, virtues, his philsophy, achievements, ....how was the courtship - you must have had a grandstand view, ... Yes you can make the odd joke about the Bride too - she is your sister!

Probably someone will say something about your sister - prob your Dad, so might be worth comparing notes with him to avoid duplication etc. Do practice your speech to test timings etc preferably with a trusted friend to comment. Churchill always parcticed his. On one ocassion his secretary heard him practicing, "Mishter Speakar, I had not meant to intervene in this debate..."

Is it an Irish wedding - that's a joke in itself!? You could always have the odd English/Irish joke to welcome those from over the water! Do you have 'English' jokes in Ireland? Speaking of Irish weddings, a friend of mine recently went to Ireland for a wedding, to find that it had been cancelled (not because of the weather either) - not a joke. Too late to cancel the party so they had that anyway!

I went to a wedding recently where they had a sweepsteak to guess how long all the speeches would last - kept people awake watching their clocks and was a bit of fun.

Oh and Speak Up - nothing worse than a speech you can't hear!!

Yes and enjoy the day, a little (but not too much!) Dutch courage beforehand may help!

And drink more after than before the speech!!!

Keep it simple and learn your speech so that you don't have to keep looking at your notes. If you feel you need to refer to notes, make them bullet points so you only need a quick glance to keep you on track.